My friend Darlene (yes, another Darlene) sent this to me on email and I thought it was soooo true.
PARENT - Job Description
POSITION
Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on-call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on-call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION
Get this! You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses! A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
Get this! You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses! A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
** AND A FOOTNOTE "THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!
Sound familiar to anyone?
Okay, so I've been mulling this idea for a kit in my mind forever now, and I finally got this finished! My new kit, Techie, is available at SAS and will soon be in my DSO store. And... it's on sale at 35% off until March 15! This is a perfect kit for all those technology-related layouts, whether it be your teenagers who won't get off the cell phone or layouts about your job! Take a look:
Pretty cute, huh? :) Here are a couple of layouts made with this kit:. The first one is yours truly and my DH. The second one was created by Marilyn G - those are her cute grandkids in the photos. (Thanks for sharing, Marilyn!)
Lastly, I have a bright, colorful freebie for you! This quick page coordinates with my Joseph's Coat collection. Please, no hotlinking or sharing the download link! Click here.
Enjoy the rest of your day!
3 comments:
Stopping by on the DSO blog train! That job description is so true - but I'm so glad I get to claim it...much better than being an engineer any day! LOL Love the vibrant colors in the Joseph's Coat collection.
Oh Darlene, just love your lo with your Techie kit! haha
a beautiful qp too! thanklyou, will go and snag that!
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